Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Ask Culture, Guess Culture, me, and Tea

I find the concept of 'ask culture versus guess culture' fascinating. I find it really useful for understanding social interactions that otherwise didn't make a lot of sense to me. I'm normally very much an ask culture person. I say what I mean, and I mean what I say. But I've realised one 'guess culture' thing I have. If I say 'do you want a cup of tea or coffee' to someone who is, for one reason or another, briefly in my home, that's not all I mean. It is a genuine offer of tea or coffee, but more than that it is also an invitation to stay and hang out, and a request for further company. I don't know why I don't say 'I'm enjoying your company. I'm not busy for the next while, wanna stay and hang out?' But I don't.

Monday, June 5, 2017

Mini Marathon 2017

I've completed the Mini Marathon four times now. The first time I did so was not long after I had taken up running, and I was mostly just viewing it as 'another race'. When I took part I realised that it was much more a fundraising event. So many different people displaying their causes proudly. I nearly cried several times reading t-shirts. I knew that if I took part again I would do so for a cause. The second time I ran for Alzheimer Society of Ireland in memory of Terry Pratchett. And the third I ran for CMRF, as the staff in Crumlin had saved my son's life when he went into anaphylactic shock at seven months old.

It's still a race though. I've improved my time each year. I'm particularly proud of this year's time or 51 minutes and 18 seconds. 42 seconds faster than I was aiming for, nearly 3 and a half minutes faster than last year, and over 5 minutes faster than the year before. It was particularly pleasing because I've been missing a lot of BHAA races lately, and had felt a little like my running skill had plateaued. A 5 minute improvement on your 10K PB over two years is not a plateau! I really pushed myself to get there, as can be seen from these before and after pictures:

This year's charity was particularly close to my heart. My Dad was diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease just after Christmas. I've been fundraising for IMND for the race and the response has been phenomenal. I was also interviewed for a 'human interest' story for the Evening Herald on the topic.

I told my Mam yesterday to make sure Dad understood that the reporter had played up the 'she really wants to see him at the finish line' angle because it made a good story, and that I care more about him looking after himself. I didn't want him pushing himself to come and see me. I meant it. But when I sat down on the ground after pushing myself over the finish, felt my mam touch me on the shoulder and looked up to see my Dad there. Well, I'm gonna carry that moment with me for a very long time.

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Weight update

Three years ago I posted about my weight loss journey. And later about reaching my goal weight. I said I'd post an update after three years, so here I am.

I haven't managed to keep all of the weight off. I've managed to keep the regain to 'slow and steady' and have only regained about half of what I lost.

Not only that, me at this weight now looks substantially better (to me, anyway) than me at this weight on the way down. I guess it's more muscle than it was that time.

I'm still not happy though. I did manage to still be down at least 30 pounds after a year. I printed the forms to apply to that Nationals Weight Control Registry. But I never sent them and no now longer qualify.

Lately I've been feeling a lot like this:

So I need to reopen that line of communication. Too high a proportion of my clothes have moved into the 'not right now' pile. Time to get them back. Well, soon. Soon.

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Paddy -v- Patty, and the joy of acceptance

I'd bet good money that there are no actual Irish people, in Ireland, who refer to the 17th of March as 'Patty's Day'. Maybe there are some blissfully unaware that anyone at all does this. But you only only need to check out the twitter feed at the end of Paddy, Not Patty to see that they do, oh they do. 

This, understandably, frustrates a lot of Irish people. I'll admit, that the first time I found out, I spent some time, Canute-like, on Twitter, politely asking people not to do that. I don't think it helped. This feeling spawns some excellent art:


But it probably doesn't achieve much. I realised, recently, that I'm much happier just accepting that we're talking about two different holidays. St. Patrick's Day, also known as Paddy's Day, an Irish celebration, and Patty's Day, and Irish-American derivative holiday. It's okay everyone, their thing is not our thing, they can have it.

The main reason behind seems to be a noble enough one. They don't want to say 'Paddy' because it's a slur. I know that for us that's super weird, because it's not a slur here, it's just a name. The name, in fact, for the patron saint of our country. The 2nd most popular name for 52 year old men in the country. But that's here. That's us. It isn't there. They don't know what it's like to be Irish. But we don't know what it's like to be Irish-American. We don't know what it's like for Irish to be just your culture and heritage any more than they know what it's like to also have it be your nationality. If calling it Paddy's Day hurts people, why should we try to make them?

On a tangentially related note. I recently learned that Mammy is a racist term in America. I was shocked. I called my mother Mammy until I was old enough to call her Mam. I still do, occasionally, when joking or wheedling. Likewise my son with me. I'm bothered when anyone calls me his Mum or his Mom. That's not who I am. I'm his Mammy. Knowing what I know now I'll be careful with that term if I'm over there. But I won't stop using it here. They have their thing, we have ours.

And really, in the end of the day, I think it's time to sit back and accept this, 'cause we're not going to win this one:

Monday, February 22, 2016

A quick 'what not to do'

Lately, I've been dipping a toe into wearable electronics (clothes and accessories that light up or make noise, that kind of thing). On Saturday just gone, the nice folks at DAQRI sponsored a few of us to work on our own projects in the vicinity of their stand at Career Zoo. They paid us in components, and we drew interested passers-by to their stand. It was a win win situation for everyone involved.

Over the course of the day lots of people came over to ask what we were doing. We talked several people through the project we were working on, recommended Adafruit enough that I thought several times that they should be the ones sponsoring us, and had some really excellent chats with people. I mostly let my excellent sister, who has more experience with this stuff than I do, do the talking.

I'm not sure whether (the also excellent) Vicky was specifically tasked with recruiting women for this role. I do know that everyone in the group except her husband was a woman. I wasn't really aware of it though, until a man, probably not quite old enough to be my father, but approaching that age, came over to us and 'hi, I'm female friendly!'. No, sir, you are not.

'Female friendly' is a useful term when it comes to events and spaces, particularly in tech or other male-dominated fields. It's good to know before committing to something that I'm going to be welcome, and that there is at least an implication to the men there that they should be on good behaviour in relation to people that don't share their gender. Drawing attention to gender in these situations can be dangerous, risking invoking stereotype threat, among other potential problems. But often, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

But in the case of this gentleman's statement, there were no such advantages. We were the ones in the position of authority, it was not up to him to make us feel comfortable there, all that we needed was for him not to make us feel uncomfortable. And in that he failed miserably. His statement served to draw attention to our female-ness, said, in fact, that that was what was interesting about us, more so than what we were doing. The other two women at my table noticeably, understandably, went cold once they'd heard this statement. I managed to give a polite, brief introduction to what we were doing. But he had taken me out of my comfort zone. For the next hour or two I would occasionally think about that interaction and shudder slightly.

I was sorry, afterwards, that I didn't say something to him about it. After all, the fact that he was familiar with the term, and tried to use it, implies that he meant well, that he was trying to be nice. He may even pride himself in trying to make tech spaces welcoming to women. I wish that I had had it in me, right then, to tell him how badly he was failing. But I didn't.

If you don't get why this bothered me, that's okay. You don't need to understand why it's a problem. But please understand that it's a problem. And please, please do not draw attention to the 'female'-ness of women in tech spaces. Just don't do it. Thanks.

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Sorcha the Hobbyist (Crosspost)

This is a cross post from a few years back on a blog that has since been made private that I wanted to have public. The blog is 'a celebration of the diversity of what it means to identify as girls and women.' It's a little out of date, but I've left it unedited.

Me? I’m a hobbyist. A person of passions. When I discover something that I love I throw myself into it. I’ve been an actor, a singer, a pianist, a martial artist, a poet, and a songwriter. These days I’m a dancer, a runner, a boardgamer, a knitter, and a coder. And that’s just in my spare time. My day job is a cross between consultancy and support. Oh, and I’m someone’s wife and someone’s Mam. I live for my passions, and for sharing them with others. I have walked into rooms of strangers who were also dancers or also gamers and been instantly at home.

I’d say I probably wrote my first computer program around the age of 7 or 8. Written in Basic; drawing pictures on the screen. I studied computer science in college. I’m getting involved in the open source scene at the moment, and finding any excuse I can to write Python programs. I mentored at the Coding Grace Python beginners workshop for women and their friends recently and I’m looking forward to my first PyCon Ireland Python Conference in October.

I’ve played and loved boardgames all my life. In college I discovered better boardgames, and people that identified as gamers. Since then I’ve been an active member of the wonderful Irish gaming scene. I’ve helped to run a few games conventions and I’ve dabbled in other types of games, such as RPGs, LARPS, and computer games. My boardgames collection takes up a wardrobe in our sitting room. And I write boardgames reviews for the gazebo: http://issuu.com/the_gazebo/.

I’ve always loved to dance; but aside from a few years of ceili dancing on and off in school, and the odd salsa lesson, I hadn’t done much about it, until I broke my foot in a playground, age 23 (it’s a long story). While I was incapacitated I realised that I didn’t miss walking, or many other things, nearly as much as I missed being able to dance. I attended my first swing dance lesson class before I was fully off the crutches. And I’ve been swing dancing when I can ever since. I’ve danced in Sweden, the UK, the USA, and of course at home in Ireland. I lead and follow, and love both.

I did Couch to 5k in Feb 2010. By November that year I was running (very slowly) in BHAA (BHAA.ie) races, which I still do. I joined the BHAA committee in late 2011. I ran the Mooathon marathon in September 2011, and you can read all about it on my blog here: http://www.saoili.blogspot.ie/2011/09/i-accidentally-ran-one-of-hardest-and.html. I’m currently recovering from the Run Kildare half marathon 2013. I’ve never gotten very fast, but I really love running. When everything works just right, running feels like flying.

My grandmother taught me to knit when I was a small child. This skill lay mostly dormant for a long  time. I’d knit the odd scarf here and there, but never much until quite recently. I knit my son a baby blanket, which I finished the day he was born. One Christmas I knit a scarf for my father-in-law. The following year, by request, I knit a Christmas jumper for my sister-in-law. She got it on Easter Sunday (I never said I could knit fast). She also got me a book of dinosaur knitting patterns for Christmas and I’ve been knitting dinosaurs most times I’m sitting still since.

I don’t own a television, or read magazines. Even so, sometimes I struggle to not think of myself as ‘there to be looked at’. But mostly I’m too busy for that.